It seems to be a common theme among many of my personal blogs: change. Makes sense, though; it is a common theme in my life. One of these days, I will figure out why God feels I need to be such an expert at dealing with it. All things revealed in their own time, right? Though this time around I believe I'm handling it much better than in the past, it is still bittersweet.
To have thought that I wanted something so badly, when the news came on Friday, you wouldn't have believed it. I shrank in fear and burst into tears, hanging on to the present for dear life. Amazing what a good night's sleep can do for you. The next morning I felt brave enough to reach out my hand toward the future. I felt like a child closing my eyes and turning my head while sticking my toe out toward the water, afraid it will be freezing cold. Thanks to many years of experience, I now realize much sooner that I can't live my life with one foot in the water and one foot on the shore, torn between the two. So, I let go....and clarity was the result.
Leaving home in the first place required a tremendous act of courage and faith on my part. I never dreamed it would be almost as difficult to go back. In my imagination, it was my leaving that opened up all of the possibilities for my dreams to come true. Blessings beyond my wildest dreams! My initial fear was that if I went back it would mean I was a failure or that all of the bad things that had caused me to want to leave in the first place would begin to happen again. Clarity was realizing that I had come full circle and it is now "time" for me to go home. I am a different person in most every sense of the word than when I originally left. My experience of "home" will be different this time. And the blessings continue to abound!
So, while I will miss pretty much everything about New England, I let go and leave a piece of my soul and spirit behind. I am excited about another adventure; one that I intend to fully immerse myself in. One that I go into with three amazing people and another amazing person on the way. I know that with them at my side and some blind faith, taking a leap can only land me right in the middle of His will for me.
Life is good, folks! Let go of what lies behind and embrace what is ahead! Story of my life. :)
**Goodbye, New England, I will miss you terribly and hope to be back someday.**
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Well written, I feel the same way about going back to Missouri. I haven't been back there since I came out here in 1990. My dad passed away ther in 1987. I don't think I can go back there since he isn't there. I know we would be better there and the kids would be happier. It is a hard thing to do when you become settled in one place.
Good Luck to you and your family
Of course you'll visit her again. At least one more with me as there are things we forgot to do!
I feel privileged to have spent the week with you running ragged around New England.
I love you and am looking forward to having you back in Georgia :o)